What did the man say when his wife said hello? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the chicken say to the black guy? Nothing, humans and chickens can not communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

your mothers so over weight that when she jumps in a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water then someone with less body mass.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between a fat man and a little boy? Despite the fact that they were dropped on two different cities, one was made out of uranium, the other was made out of plutonium.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red, violets are blue, they really should be purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do chinese people eat? Chinese food.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is funnier than a dead baby? almost everything. there is nothing funny about a dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza is a tasteful meal and a Jew is a person of Israeli decent.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What's so special about my Ferrari? A: It was painted with babies

thumb_up thumb_down +23

how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Yo mama's so fat because her BMI is considered obese on the scale.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A horse walks into a bar, the barman says why the long face, the horse says, my dad died this morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is the difference between a rabbit and a plum? A: They are both purple, except for the rabbit!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, and Pamela Anderson all have in common? All of their last names end with an "n"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

?Three men walk in to a bar. one walks with a limp. The other two make fun of him and joke of his inability to walk as well as others around him.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse then me banging your mom? The fact that I gave her HIV

thumb_up thumb_down +23

My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops