Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

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A dinosaur walks into the bar, everyone panics in fear and confusion because it is a dinosaur and it's weird.

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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What does it mean if your tv appears floating away in the dark? You had an awesome tv.

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If you are riding uphill in a canoe and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to fit in the dog house? None. Ice cream has no bones.

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

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What starts with E and ends with lephant? Not giraffe

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An Irish, an English, a Chinese and a French are together in a boat. And it shows the diversity of our society.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

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Black people in Camden NJ.

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Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

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A seal walks into a club, It proceeds to maul customers and then makes its way back to the ocean where it lives.

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how do you make a little boy cry? Kill his parents in front of him .

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What did my grandma tell me during a funeral? Nothing. It's her funeral. She's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay boys house. Knock knock! whose there? The chicken!!

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WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE HAVING A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION? Dead

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A man walks into a bar, and immediately sees a person with a big orange head seated near the back. He asked the bartender "why does that man have a big orange head?" "Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell you." So the man bought him a drink and asked the guy with the big orange head why he has a big orange head, and he told him this story: "I was traveling in the sahara desert 10 years ago when I found a pure gold lamp in the sand. I rubbed the sand off so I could read what was on the side when a genie popped out and gave me 3 wishes. First I wished for many riches, and at once gold was all around my feet. Exited, I wished for the most beautiful wife in the world, and right in front of me appeared the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Third, I wished for a big orange head.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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What's 9 + 10 19 AB

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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