Why didn't the little boy hear the ice cream truck? He was deaf.

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Yo mama is so fat she died

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What do you call a New Zealander with 1000 lovers? A shepard

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he died.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

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what did hercules parents tell him? You're adopted

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why did joe drop his clock? billy ran into him, therfore making the clock wobble in his hand until it fell at 34 mph.

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Do you want to hear a bad joke? A bad joke

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knock knock whose there the hospital staff your mom just died of AIDS

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Why did Jimmy get off of the park bench? he wanted candy from the man in the white van

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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What do u call a mixture of black people and asian people. Breakfast- Scrambled Eggs and Sausage

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how does stephen hawking get an erection? he turns off his pop-up blocker

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How do you make pie without the oven? I dont kow, go google it.

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What do you get when you cross your eyes? A headache.

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I am going to school I live in Ohio, but I'm at Germany How do I do it? I'm a blonde, nobody knows

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Cancer.

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Paragnormal Activity: The confused sequels. My wife literally had an heart attack 5/5! -Awesome reviews. I am going to need therapy for the rest of my life! 5 out of 5 stars! -Star reviews THIS MOVIE KILLED MY DOG! 4.5/5 -Petlovers I literally died! 10/10 -Rotten Potatoes.

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Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

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What happened to the man who bought his son a birthday gift? He eventually was robbed and shot in the face

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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

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How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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