There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

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Why did the man pull out his chainsaw? To get rid of a tree in his front yard.

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What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Your mom is so ugly, that her job prospects are affected negatively, and your family suffers as a consequence.

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What did the dog say to the cat Nothing dogs cant talk

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What happened to thepeanut who went to NYC? He was assulted

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What do a tree and a boy have in common? They both cry when you hit them with an axe... except the tree.

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Powdered sugar.

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What is black and goes blub-blub? A black blub-blub. Good job. What is red and goes blub-blub? There is no such thing as a red blub-blub, you idiot.

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What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The bench is an inanimate object incapable of thought

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What did the clown say when his car broke down? Sh*t!

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How do you start a fire in the woods? Call Cole Ryder!

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Women

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Knock Knock ************************** No-one's home

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What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

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A chinese man walks into a kitten store. He is a nice man in search of a companion.

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A mermaid walks into a bar, but she has no legs, so she flops over and proceeds to drag herself into the bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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