im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know but you're a sick person even thinking about it.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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What did the children say when the magician pulled a rabbit out of his hat? Nothing, but the parents called Animal Control, and the magician was imprisoned after a dog-fighting ring was discovered in Michael Vick's estate.

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How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Chuck Norris doesnt need air to live, Air needs chuck Norris to live. Actaully that statment is a fallacy because it would be fatal to not breathe

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Why did the polar bear die? Global warming.

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Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

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what did the cow say to the chicken Hey im ralston tyler

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A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

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Three men of different ethnic and socio-economic upbringings enter a pub. A strange situation befalls them or a question is posed. The first two respond in turn, in manners typical of their profession or educational background. The third, however, either draws on his specific expertise and responds so as to outwit the others, or makes an egregious and pun-filled blunder, leaving himself open to mockery by his peers.

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Yo momma so stupid when I said drinks are on the house she went and got a ladder

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There would not be any me in we, you would have to hijack a media station, you would instantly be branded terrorists, and even if you where not, do you believe that you could have used the media in order to spread individuality, or would you simply have sought to control the masses like the rest? I am not saying that television is wrong, I am saying that as long as there are not enough people willing to think for themselves, and remain loyal to us and themselves, something which we failed at when we where at our greatest peak, then we are all media zombies eventually, and I do not mind, complacency is better than a constant struggle for survival.

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So, this joke isn't funny.

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Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies? girl scouts

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

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A tiger walks into a bar, the patrons ran out terrified.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What did the young child with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

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"Knock knock..." "come in"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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