Someone made a Titanic joke to me today, It was just plane wrong.

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when Life gives you lemons, make lemonade. So i made some lemonade. Turns out the lemons Kawazaki Life gave me were poisoned and i shortly die afterwards. i wouldve died cursing out her name but she was cute so i forgave her in my mind. and thus i die in peace.

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What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

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Why do migets laught when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

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how many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 283,000,322,249,390

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Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

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yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

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"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

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Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

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The opposing forces behind all human beings is not light vs darkness, not good vs evil, but fear vs ' love. Whatever is overwhelmingly good for one person, is evil to many. Overwhelming darkness wont allow you to see. Overwhelming light will make you blind. You can never fear overwhelming love. You can never love overwhelming fear. These are the true polar opposites, part of all emotion that drive the human being.

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What did 4 Year Old Jonny get for his birthday? Death.

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Why is it irrelevant whether someone is a twat or not? Love your neighbour.

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Who should you call when your dad overdoses on Viagra. Child Support

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What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves.

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Ethiopian food.

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank? To make a deposit

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I really did not understand the chapter. Is there anyway I can meet with you at a later time to discuss what I did wrong?

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I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I'm allergic to peanuts. DAMIT

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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what do you call a farm without animals a house with a big yard

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What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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What's worse then falling up the stairs? Ketchup

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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