How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

What do I do with all the wheelchairs after I boil all the vegetables?

Can u explode on me.......Plz.........no........ok.

Why did the baby fall down from the tree? It was dead.

Why did the hot blonde strip down? So she can take a shower

I don't mind gays unless they shove it down people's throats.

roses are blue violets are red i messed up so f... this s..t

What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend? I have AIDS.

why did the girl fall off the swing? her dad threw a refrigerator jlr

Why isn't this joke funny? Because it has no point.

When I get aroused I get a solid snake

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby wearing a clown suit.

Why did the woman go to the kitchen? The same reason she went to the bathroom, she needed to wash her hands because she was finger painting. Her husband was using the bathroom.

Face down, ass up. Thats the way I like to sleep

two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

This is not a joke

Q: What's red, pink and spins round and round? A: A baby in a blender Q2: What's red, pink, green, and smells bad? A2: The same baby 2 weeks later

Two eggs are in a frying pan. One egg says to the other, "Gee, it's getting hot in here!" The other one says, "Shit, a talking egg!!"

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him, "Would you like a drink?". The horse cannot understand english and is confused by its surroundings. The horse gallops out of the bar knocking over a few stools

One guy asks another guy, "Why did the sleeping man get sucked into the sinkhole?" The other guy replies, "I don't know, I heard about that a few months ago, it seems highly improbable statistically. "

What did the little girl say to her step father? Please stop raping me

What do an octopus and a cat have in common? They are both multicellular organisms that are living creatures, and therefore are both sentient and can perform simple tasks and make simple decisions.

Abbie shaved her arse today....then it smiled at me

What do you call a black man that cuts people up and takes their money? A surgeon.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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