What worse than stubbing your toe? Getting raped by a panda.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Holocast ...

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*Knock knock! "Who's there?" "Jehovah's witness" .....

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Q: What's your favorite song? A: Not one in particular. I like all kinds of music.

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Where will you be in twenty years? Celebrating the twentieth anniversary of reading this question... unless you're older than 60, which by modern life expectancy, you'd be dead.

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Why do people who walk into bars never have names?

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What Do you say to an atheist after he sneezes? Bless you. Its just polite

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What does a frog in a blender sound like? *WWWRRRRRRRBFFFFZZZZZCHWEEERRRRRR*

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What do you call a woman with no arms or legs that fell off a boat fucked

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What is human, went bankrupt eight times, got a small loan of a million dollars, and is over all a terrible person? Your probably thinking Donald Trump Well your correct.

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what do you call a middle-aged man with one blue suede shoe on, purple hair, pink skin, white eyes, no toenails, 67 fingers, 1 eye, a pocket watch, no clothes, and 8978967564567898765432345678765321234568909876543w245678909876543456098765323456-0987654367890-098765435678-09876543456789098765432345678909876543456789098765435678909876543234567898765323456890-987654345678900987654323456890987653234567890765434568909876543456899876543456789098765434568909876545678987654345678987654567898765434567898765478579458765456789876543223456789876543098765432123456898765432678987654230987653-098765434567898765434898765434567898765456787654567876 butt cheeks? bob.

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I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Chemotherapy.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

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Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

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their is a box of mystery. wat is in that box?? do u no wat is in that box!?!?!?!?!?!?

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A blonde is elected President of the United States. Half way through her inauguration speech, she forgets how to read.

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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Why does beonce say to the left, to the left. she doesnt she sings it.

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What if someone sold your socks to a Jew? I would blackflip through the air and shit on his chest.

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A man walks into a bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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