Why couldn't Danny learn the alphabet? Because a man of forty was staring at him in a very peculiar way and Danny found it very difficult to concentrate.

What do you call a black guy who works at McDonald's? A worker, you racist piece of shit!

why did the deer jump, because there was something in it's way

What did the woman get for her 18th birthday? Stabbed to death.

How to you scare a paraplegic? Point a gun at him.

Want to hear a funny joke? Not really.

What's black and really really smelly? Martin Luther King Jr.'s grave.

so a man walks into a bar *pint of bud there please

Why do jews have big noses? Because the air is free!

If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Roses are dead. Violets are dead. I'm a bad gardener.

why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

what goes round , and round , and croaks? a blender in a frog.

Once a man asked a lady working at the supermarket, Can I see your avocados? She kindly walked him over to the rack where they were being held.

Why do people go on this site? They have no friends and no lives.

A man with a magic watch says to a prostitute, "My magic watch says you are wearing any underwear." "YOU HAVE MAGIC WATCH?! Can it tell time too??!!!"

a man walks into a bar several people leave as they can see the potential danger in the situation. - the man (also so known as a hippo) was Matt Ross

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs falling skydiving? Jon, because that's his name.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

What's 10 + 3 x 22 ? Cake.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...