Why didn't the man win the lottery? Because his lottery numbers weren't drawn.

Why couldn't the little girl see in the dark? She had no eyes.

I once did something.

knock knock who's there Bob I don't know you Bob and if you don't get off my porch this minute i'm calling the authorities.

Mr. Wonder, optimism is seeing the glass as half full, pessimism as seeing the glass half empty, and realism as not seeing the glass at all.

How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

Can u explode on me.......Plz.........no........ok.

What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a crap?

How did Hitler fit 100 jews in his car? He didn't, he was too busy killing them in concentration camps.

2 blondes walk into bolemics anonymous.

What do I do with all the wheelchairs after I boil all the vegetables?

What did the clitoris say to the labia? I'm from the hood, the clitoral hood.

Why did the baby fall down from the tree? It was dead.

What did the suicide bomber say to the other suicide bomber? You're da bomb!

A pigeon walks into a bar. Someone left the door opened.

what do you order when it's a sunday in nyc during a solar eclipse on a leap year past 12:00 pm? what ever you like

When I get aroused I get a solid snake

why did the girl fall off the swing? her dad threw a refrigerator jlr

Face down, ass up. Thats the way I like to sleep

I don't mind gays unless they shove it down people's throats.

What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend? I have AIDS.

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby wearing a clown suit.

Why isn't this joke funny? Because it has no point.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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