A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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I would have made you laugh, but that is not the point is it? Moral: What do you expect from the 4th most pointless invention?

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. You wife was killed in an accident.

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Why was Helen Keller a terrible driver? She was a woman.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know but some black man is starting up his deep-frier on the other side

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Intel Core Computers answer robot flavored phones at middle of june CC

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Your mom is so old, that she should probably up her B-12 intake to avoid sickness.

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a horse walkes into a bar... never mind that's just Sarah Jessica Parker

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Bartender: What are you having? Sally: Can I have a martini? Bartender: How do you want it? Sally: I want it tall and black, like my man.

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walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

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Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds? Michael Jackson is dead.

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when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

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What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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What did one stool say to the other stool? Stools don't speak!

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If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

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Q. What did the man say when he beat his video game? A. "I beat my video game." Q. What did the man say after his favorite sports team missed the playoffs? A. "My favorite sports team missed the playoffs." Q. What did the man say when a murderer was in his house? A. Nothing. He was dead.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Why are butt pirates butt pirates? Because they just ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FRUITS

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If I was a backstabber, you would have been dead already, without me having anything to do with it in the first place, listen, we cannot change the world, those that control the media, control the world. And our role was the opposite, we wanted people to find their individual selves and put their talents for use for themselves and us, today the media tells people who they are, what they like, and what to eat and wear. None of us can do this, point zero is gone, its simply a matter of time, but if you want to try, I can do what I can, in hopes of delaying the inevitable.

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Person 1: I got a really good knock, knock joke. Person 2: Okay. Person 1: You start. Person 2: Knock, knock. Person 1: Who's there? Person 2: ...

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knock! knock! Whos there? Chris Hansen..

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2 Black men walk into the bar.. Guess what? There still black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops