Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

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How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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What do you call a deaf-black man that professionally generates maps of the world? A cartographer.

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Onions are like loved ones... They are both nouns. And you cry when you cut into them.

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Why wasn't the TV remote working? It was out of batteries.

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What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

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Two men walked into a bar. I'm surprised the second man did not duck out of the way.

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A white man, a black man, and a Mexican board a plane. The white man watches the on-flight film. The black man watches the on-flight film. The Mexican also watches the on-flight film. At the end of a long flight, they leave the plane and go do whatever it is they planned to do at their destination.

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How did Jimmy know that his neighbor was a serial killer? He didn't... Jimmy's dead now

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Why did the blond wreak her car? She stayed up a very long time studying for her mid-term exam, And therefore, was not as attentive to the flow of traffic.

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I'm so full I could stop eating.

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What would EARTH without ART be? EARTH, you dummy.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

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Your momma is so dumb, she failed the IQ test.

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The Female Orgasm

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Why does Gandalf have special powers? Because Dumbledore died.

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Your blood is red. Your bruises are blue. I have a gun. Now drag your carcass away from my residence.

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What's old and baggy? An old bag.

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Whats worse than spilling ketchup on your shirt? Getting hit by a bus

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Why did the chickens leave McDonalds? Because they refused to have their nuggets deep fried (Wyndellberg)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops