A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

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A man walks into a bar wearing large and baggy pants. The bartender asks him, "Why the large, baggy pants?" The man replies, "Because they're comfortable."

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who let the dogs out my mom because they're fat and need exercise

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Yo mama's so skinny, she should probably go in for eating disorders' counseling.

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What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

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Last night, I went fishing, caught a fish, brought it home, grilled it, ate it, and went to bed.

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Why was the boy depressed? A. because his whole family was slaughtered on the kitchen floor.

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How do you save a black person from drowning? Take your foot off his head.

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Why do I write Anit-jokes. Because I'm very bad at delevering good punchlines. They generally fall flat.

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USA, one of the richest and most proud nations on this plan- VIETNAM 9/11 BYE FOR NOW!!!

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Nah, could not care less about how I sound on "The network", its just that I spent all night finishing the core concept to my new novel, and all the capital letters and stuff sound like Jim Carrey in my head as I type. So Redcunt, where you going? When you coming back?

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Who is the Greek god of STDS? Herpies

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Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

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10+10=20. 20+20=40 40-10=30 I have 2 penises.

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roses are red violets are blue your mum is a whore as are you:)

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Your Mommy is a gas pump.

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69

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A kid had wild unprotected sex. He didn't get an STD or enpregnate the girl.

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Want to here a joke? The First Amendment.

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Whats the most impotent thing to remember when your going skateboarding? A skateboard.

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Why did the cop shoot his 4 year old son? Because the little bitch ate his leftovers

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Why is the sky blue? Because bicycles have two tires

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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