I went to Nebraska and saw a dead squirrel

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call the fear of anteaters? Stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the man say to the man with no head? You have no head

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the boy cry? His Parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Do gingers have souls ? No, Gingers are a myth made up in the 13th centuary to scare little kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are green,violets are blue,i'm high as ****,is that perfume or glue?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

i fell like im going to reverse john becase i ate a bikle penis jackson

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What happened when Paul couldn't decide on Pornhub or Redtube. A: nothing since he doesn't have a d***

thumb_up thumb_down +12

lybia

thumb_up thumb_down +12

obama

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck on the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

An Irish guy, a black guy, and an Asian guy walk into a bar. They all caught the plague and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If you share rice between 30 Africans what do they each have? Aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

After visiting the dentist, Ke$ha had sixteen cavities because brushing your teeth with bottles of jack causes plaque to build up.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats worse than find a worm in your apple? finding the holocaust in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When life gives you lemons you have lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops