What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q:What's the difference between my refrigerator and the trunk of my car? A: There isn't a spare tire in my refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Every human being has some kind of penis <3

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Jew, Catholic, and a Mexican walk into a bar. The Jew leaves first for an unrelated reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Beans, beans good for the heart, the more you eat the more likely you are to grow into a healthy young man/woman with low risk of heart disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does a black guy and an apple have in common? They're both apples except for the black guy

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: How do you make sweet sexy love to cow and make her come several times and then have her lick your stick clean without nobody ever finding out? While secretly keeping her as your girlfriend forever? A: Wouldn't you like to know...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Three women are sitting in a bar. One is drinking beer, one is drinking wine and one is drinking vodka. Which one is the widow? The one whose husband is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What are the two sexiest farm animals? Consider that we are humans we shouldn't find any sex appeal in animals but if i had to guess I would say Brown Chicka Brown Cow

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a swimming pool full of black people? A family enjoying their holiday.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Black man walks into a bar. He then has a drink of Alcohol and walks home to return to his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Feminism.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the boy get nothing from Santa? He's Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the potato say to the man It said nothing it is a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats worse than 10 dead babies in the street? 11 babies in the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call 47 black people dead at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible hate crime

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops