What do Muslims and Jews have in common? Shared humanity.

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What do you call a cheese that's not yours? Cheese

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How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

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What super hero did they choose to be on the Blue Jays' team? Batman!

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what did the rooster get for his birthday? nothing

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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Why did the boy eat the apple. He really likes apples.

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Why the monkey fall out the tree? Cause he was dead!

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A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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What did the oboe say to the trombone? SQUEEEEEEK

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Tyler is a downer and is always negative to everybody

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Knock Knock.. Who's there? The IRS, you owe $50,000 in back taxes and we're repossessing your home.

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What's normally shaped like a rectangle, and is so thin, it gives people cuts? Paper.

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What do you call a black man with a small penis? Aids free

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How do you kill a black man? feed him mayonase

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How do you know if you have a good slave? It is hard working and determined... And black

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What's better than a nice hot shower on a cold, rainy day? Osama bin Laden rotting away at the bottom of the ocean.

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ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

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a man walks in to a bar. he says oww.

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While I was having sex... Just kidding, I can't get laid.

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Why did the blonde ask the doctor if she should get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anal surgery is the only solution.

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What the man from the arapahoe tribe say to the mexican who was living in a trash bag? You should try a hotel room. They comfortably sleep 67-493 mexicans.

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Dislike this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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