What's green and has wheels? Weed. I lied about the wheels.

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how do you make a little girl cry?? Kill her family

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I'm a poet and I just didn't realise

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I had a lemon. hi.

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Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender quickly says to its owner that he must leave as dogs are not allowed in. Upon realizing that it is a seeing eye dog, the bartender retracts his statement and serves the owner a drink.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing Jenga on September 11th.

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Why didn't the man jump out of his window when his house was on fire? Because he is afraid of heights.

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So there's this big ass moose, and he walks into this grocery store, & asks the cashier "which isle are the potatoes in?" the lady replies, "down isle 5." so the moose walks down to isle 5 and there weren't any potatoes!

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children burning

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What was the prostitute's favorite number? 68

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Why did little Lisa fall off the swings? She had no arms

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What does a camel wear at war? Camelflage

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When life hands you melons it means you're dyslexic.

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I may have alzheimer's but at least I don't have alzheimer's.

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Yo mama's so gay, she's a guy.

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Shape like a book, have papers like a book, have a cover like a book, and could be read like a book. But it's not a book, what is it? A dictionary

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How do you get a priest out of a tree? Throw a canoe at him.

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Whats worst then finding drugs under you brothers bed finding your dead cat under his bed whats worst then finding your dead cat under your brothers bed finding your dead Gran whats even worst then that the Holocaust

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Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

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Why did the jewish plumber commit suicide? After years abuse from his alcoholic father and rich sibling, he finally snapped and killed himself on his birthday after nobody told him happy birthday.

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Two peanuts walked into a bar... One was a salted.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops