What's nice and looks like a rat? Ryan Kavanagh, I lied about the nice part

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

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What do you call a black man driving a helicopter? Blackhawk down

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what is the diference between a jew and a boy scout. a boy scout comes home from camp.

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If a tree falls in the forest, does anyone hear it? no, but it was home to several endangered species that are now extinct

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haha women's rights.....what a joke.

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Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

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What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

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what do you say to a woman on her rags? nothing.try and ignore it.you didn't hear this from me and we never talked.

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a irish man walks past a bar

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why did the girl cry because she was raped

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

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Why did the Quantum chicken cross the road? It was already on both sides.

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How do you starve a Somalian? Too late.

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SERIOUSLY EVERONE! I STRICTLY FORBID YOU TO GIVE MY COMMENT A GREEN THUMB! BECAUSE THEN I WOULD DIE A VIOLENT DEATH AND BURN IN THE FLAMES OF HELL! DO YOU HEAR ME! YEEEEAH, YOU BETTER GIVE ME A RED THUMB! YEAH! BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT? I COULD NOT STAND THE THOUGHT OF MORE THAN ONE! GREEN THUMB! I WOULD JUST DIE AND YOU WOULD BE LEFT WITH THE GUILT! YEAH! PEOPLE WOULD HATE YOU! HATE! HATE! YOU AS THEIR HERO! I MEAN THEIR NERO... Same same... DIES! YES! Moral: CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED! YOU DO NOT WANT ME TO DIE, REPEAT AFTER ME: "I MUST GIVE NERO RED THUMBS, I MUST GIVE NERO RED THUMBS! I AM UNDER HIS CONTROL! I MUUUUST GIVE NERO RED THUMBS! YES DO MY BIDDING PEASANTS AND I SHALL SHALL BUILD THE FORTRESS OF SALTITUDE! ... WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT GREEN THUMB! PUT IT DOWN AND PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR! NO NOT UP, THE THUMB MUST BE DOWN! ...I am looking at you there... "YES YOU! NOT EVERYBODY ELSE! JUST YOU! YEEES I SEE YOU WAVING THAT NASTY GREEN THUMB OF YOURS! YEAH! SHAME ON YOU! WHAT WILL EVERYBODY ELSE BUT YOU THINK ABOUT THAT HUH? ...I will be silent now... But I am still watching, yeah! I am constantly here... ZzzzZzzz... AND AWAKE!... ..:SERIOUSLY! GREEN THUMB IS VERBOTEN! IT IS NAZI, IT IS HITLER! SHAME! SHAAME! Moral: Now, do you want my death by green thumb on your conscience? SHAAAAME! WHAT WILL THE COMMUNITY DO TO YOU! DO YOU NEVER THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN!? And next time on Dragonball DONTGIVEAFUCKING GREENTHUMBEVER Z! I shall be the one and only to give myself a green thumb, but remember... I am still watching... At you.... Now, I will stop talking... BUT RED THUMBS ONLY! *present* <<< Yes this is my constant presence.

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All of these jokes suck; so I just made one that equally sucks!

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Q-What do you call a dog with no legs? A-Nothing because he cant come over to you anyway..

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1 111111 1 1 11111111111 1 1 111111 1

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Roses are red my shirt is blue don't take my money, their not for u -_-

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EVERYONE TEXT 513-646-2835 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names travis

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hi jonny

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Alternate ending for children: Despite the massive trauma that the spider suffered from his fall and the sheer volume of rain in the confined space of a pipe, it made a miraculous recover due to the sun coming out. It was however, forever doomed to repeat this cycle of undeath for ever more. [L]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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