do you currently smoke? i hope not.

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Why did the bird lose all of it's feathers? It got cancer.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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(A man in a dark van pulls up)... Hey kids can you come help me find my puppy? The kids get in the car and they find the puppy in a near by park. The kids are then safely returned home.

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What did little Susie give to young Billy on Christmas? Genital Herpes.

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What's a Gingers favorite drink? Coke!

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why did the chicken cross the road ...WHO FREAKING CARES!!!!

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Steven and Daniel are playing with super soakers in the back yard. Steven says to Daniel: "You can't squirt me!" Daniel says to Steven: "Yes I can!" Daniel is HIV positive.

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Why were the Jews stuck in Germany? Because Joseph Rosenstein and his Jewish family missed their train out of Frankfurt to go to Paris, and so they had to stay another night in their hotel.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a free-range chicken

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Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Steal her cookies

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Why did the woman step away from the kitchen? To pick up her paraplegic son, who had fallen.

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Andrew's a bald wankstain.

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How did Goku save his home planet? He didn't.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -John. -Hey John, come on in.

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What did the husband say when his wife startled him as she appeared coming out of the kitchen? You scared me.

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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retard

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What Batman said to Robin before they got in the car? -Get in the car Robin!

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How do you confuse a blonde? Inform her that she is an illegitimate child resulting from a vicious, torturous rape and that her mother will never truly love her.

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wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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what do u say to a man walking down the street nothing, u shouldnt talk to strangers

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Why did the Black guy work at KFC? To provide money for his struggling family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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