Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the woman step away from the kitchen? To pick up her paraplegic son, who had fallen.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Steven and Daniel are playing with super soakers in the back yard. Steven says to Daniel: "You can't squirt me!" Daniel says to Steven: "Yes I can!" Daniel is HIV positive.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why were the Jews stuck in Germany? Because Joseph Rosenstein and his Jewish family missed their train out of Frankfurt to go to Paris, and so they had to stay another night in their hotel.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you make a girl scout cry? Steal her cookies

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Andrew's a bald wankstain.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How did Goku save his home planet? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you confuse a blonde? Inform her that she is an illegitimate child resulting from a vicious, torturous rape and that her mother will never truly love her.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the chicken cross the road ...WHO FREAKING CARES!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a free-range chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the husband say when his wife startled him as she appeared coming out of the kitchen? You scared me.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's a Gingers favorite drink? Coke!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -John. -Hey John, come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why cant Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles read? Because they are blind you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Its easy they said, just type your text below they said, so I did

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Do you work at subway? Because I often enjoy eating there and i think the food is pretty good. I do not however eat there everyday because i might get overweight and get a eating disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your adopted.....

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black man that cuts people up and takes their money? A surgeon.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to probably balance himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the black guy good at basketball? When buying African American Slaves the masters often sought attributes that would be useful for manual labor such as agricultural work. The slaves who met these criteria had more chances to pass on their better, more beneficial genetic info via sexual intercourse with other slaves. Through many generations the most beneficial traits such as fine motor control in the phalanges and overall strength were passed down. This is very similar to Darwin's Theory of Evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black man and an Asian at a school? Two hard-working, dedicated teachers.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was young Ferdinand sad? He had a very rough day. In the morning he woke up. To find a man in his room, and then the man raped him. Then, Ferdinand found out that his whole family was killed by an angry rat. Then, he realized his grandma took away all his Christmas presents and ate them. Then, the angry rat showed up and brutally murdered Ferdinand and ate him. The rat then burped up Ferdinand and his family's bones, and on Ferdinand's bone there was something wrong, indicating that Ferdinand had cancer and would've died the next day anyway. The rat then got cancer from Ferdinand, and it died. That is why Ferdinand was sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops