Why did captain hook die? He wiped asss

A man sees the most beautiful woman he's ever seen on the street. He takes her into a dark alley and r.apes her.

My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

Q:How do u kill a butcher A: Kill its family

Roses are Red Violets are Purple Not blue

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Why aren't elephants allowed in public pools? Because they are elephants.

What do you get when you eat a bag of potatoes? The're all gone.

I hate it when I press submit, and I forgot to finish the jo

women's rights

Why did the man say ow? He got his dick caught in his zipper.

A man with a mustache enters your parents home to tell them you were kidnapped and taken to the pier 1 hour away. They leave and he goes upstairs to rape you for 1 hour. Never trust people with mustaches.

How do you kill a blonde? Choke her.

BOB:john John:what? BOB:4:59 seconds to get rid of it

Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Knock Knock Whos there? Your neighbor.

A monkey and his owner walk into a bar they sit down at the bar... I dont know the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me Fool me 3 times, oh now you're just being a jerk

What did squidward do when SpongeBob asked him to be his friend on Facebook? 1.declined it 2.got a restraining order against him 3.wondered how computer generated cartoon characters could send and decline friend requests

Why was the man eaten by a tiger? Because tigers are carnivores, but why are they carnivores? Because they eat meat.

Why is there such a big box because there is some writing down here :)

How do you stop a bus ? Put 3 small children in front of it Whats sad about 3 children who died in a bus crash ? They were my kids. How do you know if you're blind ? You run in to a wall

Adam Fantuzzi's just jealous because he'll never be the man his mother is

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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