What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was just a young boy living in a quaint suburbial town, his family, 1 2 3 4 and 5 were all killed by 7. 7 then burned down their house while 6 ran away from the blazing inferno he used to call home. 6 was forced to live off the land in order to survive. 6 built a house using only mud and sticks and a little elbow grease. When 7 heard the news that 6 was still alive and well in the forest, 7 went into the woods, tracked down 6's home and again burned it down. When 6 came back from a day of fishing and a handfull of fish, he saw that his house was burned down. The fish then escaped from his hands, and flew away. 7 had left a note on the ground that said 7. 6 then recalled the first time 7 had killed his family and burned down house. 7 had now burned down two of 6's houses. That is why 6 is afraid of 7.

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Did you here about the man who dropped a glass? It broke.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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A: why do elephants paint their toenails red? B: why? A: so they can hide in cherry trees B: I don't get it A: have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? B: no... A: exactly

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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What did Batman tell Robin before he entered the batmobile? Robin, I had sex with your mother this last Thursday.

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There was this fruit joke, but it had no punchline.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a cucumber? You can't gas a cucumber.

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what was the last pizza place the twin towers ordered from? Domino's

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What's worse than a worm in your holocaust? An apple.

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troll----> hahaha---->

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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What's worse than a mentally retarded boy screaming in your ear while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors? 2 retarded boys screaming in your ears while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors.

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What's the worse thing O.J. Simpson has gotten away with? Running a red light

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yo moma is so poor she cant afford free samples

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What's the difference between an ice cream cone and a pile of dead babies? I don't cum on the ice cream before I eat it.

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i killed a blind guy when he wasnt looking

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What two states don't have running water? Solid and gas

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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