I just flew here from Cleveland, and boy are my arms tired! The people on either side of me were hogging the armrests, so I had to kind of tuck my arms up behind my head and it was very uncomfortable.

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Q: What's the difference between Catholism and Judiasm? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Yeah, I mean to be honest with you, I get that one a lot.

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How do you kill a blonde? Choke her.

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How many of my Dad's "fishing buddies" have gone down to the basement for a "meeting", but never returned? 37 so far. I'm concerned. I seriously have never seen my dad fish. Pretty sure he doesn't own a fishing pole.

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What did little jonny do when he broke his leg? He proceeded to brake into tears due to the excruciating pain caused by his unfortunate injury.

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1st person: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? 2nd person: I don't know 1st person: A Jew is a follower of the zionist faith and a pizza is a popular food invented in Italy and comes with your choice of several delicious toppings. 2nd person: But not all Jews follow zionism 1st person: Well some places restrict your choice of toppings. Whats your point?

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if ruddell was gay what would he be? a gay prick

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Q: What's bad about 4 asians getting shot? A: There could've been five

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What do Jesus, The Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus all have in common? Their middle names are all Larry.

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What did the the girl say to the deaf boy after he asked her out? He doesn't know

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knock knock whos there? nobody

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i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis

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whats big and green, andif it falls from a tree , it can kill you? a golfcourse

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Whats white and can talk? Snow, i lied about the colour

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane from Mexico City to Los Angeles? A pilot you racist.

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Why did the man commit a serious crime? Because he couldn't think of any funny crimes.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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How do u make a black man cry? Kill his family!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a camel with three humps? A deformed bactrian

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What do you get when you mix a baby and chemical waste? A bad smoothie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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