who are the worlds fastest readers? the people who jumped on 911 cause they read 48 stories in 10 seconds

Todd is offered a pizza, chinese food, and a sandwich. he then kills himself because options trigger a psychological disorder that was diagnosed to him as a child

why didn't the girl like that one guy? he hurt her, hurt her real bad.

Q: What happened to the monkey when he jumped off the tree. A: He died Q: Why did the second monkey jump off of the tree A: He was attatched to the first monkey Q: Why did the third monkey jump off the tree A: Peer Pressure

Why did the man fall off the cliff? I don't know, I have mental AIDS.

Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Everything I did, Was just a mistake like you.

What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

What did Jesus say when he walked on water? I'm drowning

Forgiveness is what weaklings beg for, while redemption is what the strong succeed at.

Why did the little girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

What is the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari. There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

A Priest, A Rabbi, and an Imam walk into a bar. They promptly sit down and have a friendly theological discussion.

You are being like super pervert now, I would never ever even try weed, cocaine is the real deal, you know I do not mean that. Anyway does it work on everyone?

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

Justin Bieber

What do Jews and Sloths have in common? They are both Mammals.

Knock Knock! Who's there? The mailman! The mailman who? *opens door* Just kidding, I'm actually an axe-murderer!

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

After eating dinner, my dad said... "That was really good."

If i have a remote that can switch people to mute, the number 1 people will be asian, and it will be on the train.

Chuck norris

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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