So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +16

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Dead on Aodhan your breaking te ten commandments by lying you jew you dont believe in the divinity of Christ.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walked into a lampost. He hurt himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the white doctor say to the black doctor? We both went to medical school.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? 2 weeks to live...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is brown and woody? Brown wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How High is a Chinese man

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There are a fox and a chicken and the fox eats the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats green and has wheels? a green tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yo Mama is so white, people call her caucasian.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself pink and throw green banana at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops