why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

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Whats worse than getting punched in the balls? Getting punched in the balls twice.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? The Holocaust is not an idea of the slightest humor at all. Millions of innocent civilians were slaughtered, millions more were sent to brutal concentration camps where they would fight for a crumb of food on the ground and get terribly punished for it, and live their whole lives in pain, torture, and starvation, millions more were sent to concentration camps then murdered, and millions of people, including children were left without family or anywhere to live. On top of that, their whole lives they were mistreated for their differences, and never got to live up to their dreams because of this horrifying event. It left the world in shock for years after, and scars of the event still live on in present-day families whose ancestors were harmed in the Holocaust. The terrible memory of it will never leave this Earth.

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why are jews so cash hungry? because like the rest of us they are looking for a way to survive and feed their family.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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What do you call a large group of Apes attacking San Francisco? Well, it isn't called anything but coincidentally there is a movie called Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was released August 5, 2011 starring James Franco and Andy Serkis. -David Bruggen

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a zebra? A dead zebra.

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How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

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Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

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What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

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Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

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Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

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Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

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Think of a number between 2 and 10? 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 11745028410270193852110555964462294895493038

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was severely depressed.

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What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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