why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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willie revilame

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thats what she she. no really thats what she said

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What's worse than finding out you have cancer? Not much, that would not be so great.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue The mothership came and your did a whole lot of scam

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Why was the black man smoking marijuana with his friends? He was at a glaucoma support group meeting.

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Why did I miss my bus? Because my watch was wrong.

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This is my fist. Would you politely run into it as fast as you can?

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What did the gay lifeguard tell the little boy at the pool? No running!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The grass is always greener on the other side.

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarter ever (this isn't a joke just a true statement)

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What did the Religious Education teacher teach on National Science Day? Religion, because that is the teacher's job.

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What's the square root of yo mama? That which when multiplied by itself equals yo mama.

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LOL we are spamming this site too much!

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Who ever invented the "Knock- Knock jokes" should get a "No-bell prize"

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A boy tells his teacher, "I want to be like hitler when I grow up and kill all the jews and one clown." The teacher replies, "Why the clown?" The boy says, "See no one cares about the jews."

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What kind of toy do you give to a dead baby? A death rattle.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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An underage man walks into a bar. He then was shot and kicked out of the bar. An overage person found the body. What age is he? Normal Age

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yo mamma so ugly I think she has cancer

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The jets are a good team..

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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Why didnt timmy go to the party Mom said no

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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