tim has no humor

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What did the depressed man get for his birthday? a rope

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how do you kill a blond? give her a gun and tell her it a blow dryer

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Benjamin Frankin was playing with his Xbox...

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What do you call a black man with a small penis? Aids free

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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-Knock knock. ~Use the doorbell. -Ding dong. ~The witch is dead!

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Q: What's the difference between a child dressing as a ghost for Halloween and a real ghost? A: About a tablespoon of arsenic.

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What did the elephant say to the other elephant? We're both elephants!

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American all stand in one room. The Italian throws pasta out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The Mexican throws a taco out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The American throws a burger out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country."

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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What is invisible and smells like cheese? Cheese. I lied about the invisible part, because cheese is not invisible.

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Why did the German Constitutional Court issue Decision 2 BvR 1390/12 on September 12, 2012? Because they wanted to refuse the request for a temporary injunction in regards to the European Stability Mechanism!

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems i like your boobs

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A women walks into a kitchen.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put my dick in your ass

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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Q: Who followed E.T.A Hoffman? A: ASAP Rocky. (ETA and ASAP are both time-based abbreviations, ETA meaning 'estimated time of arrival' and ASAP meaning 'as soon as possible'. Thus, ASAP can form a response to a requested ETA. Additional humour comes from the dissonant occupations of the two individuals: E.T.A Hoffman being a nineteenth century gothic author, and ASAP Rocky being a modern rapper.)

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What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

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your life

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Sally went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. She was exhausted and died of dehydration at the top.

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An invisible man sleeping in your bed! Who ya gunna call? Most likely the local police department to report the strange incident possibly brought on by lack of sleep. NOT Bill Murray.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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