D/M/Y ~~ Take 21/12/2012 Flip it upside down Take the 2's out from both ends (1/12/201) Take out all the ones and two's (//0) Take your zero and turn it 90 degrees to the right Take out the forward slashes What you are left with, a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Guy A walks into a bar and sits down beside guy B, they quickly spark up a quick conversation about golf, Guy B says "i hit the ball so hard, it soared 200 yards", Guy A quickly responds by saying "I hit your mom so hard!" Guy B responds "the jokes on you, my mom has herpes"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is that chicken crossing the ro-..... oh, woops, he got run over by that truck...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was a woman crying in a corner of a room She was raped

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the one man say to the other man? What? I don't know , I wasn't there, that's why I'm asking.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first baby. Why did the third baby fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There once was a woman from Ealing, Who had a peculiar feeling She went to the doctors and was consequently diagnosed with Chlamydia

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? -You can research and find several similarities and differences, but I will not go into detail about them.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the disabled child say when I hit him with my car? *thunk*

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did michael jackson wear white gloves around young boys? His doctor recommended that he do so due to bad circulation.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your dick is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did'n the baby wake up from his nap? because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock. Who's there? Interrupting Pessimist. Interrupting Pessi- Slavery.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Warning: Are you 16 and curious and stuff? DO NOT SNIFF YOUR SISTERS HEAVILY PERFUMED PANTIES! Because you know hormones, and then 18 years later she uses the same perfume and... Yeeah.. ITS HORMONES! DON'T PRETEND YOU NEVER SMELLED A PUSS... Well, nevermind guys, I believe you :)) PS: By DO NOT, I mean DO! I mean just make sure you dont get your mothers panties, your sister is gonna be like "Omg you are such a perv you and your dick always up my face!" Then you can go all like "yeeeaah you wish!" Moms panties? Seriously man, that is just sick! You need to get some self respect!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's green and has wheels? Weed. I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are shitty Violets are bitches I'm fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did 'Mister Love' get arrested? Clue: One of the most ironic things ever You can guess

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man was driving in his BMW one day when a mini passed him out on the fast lane. The BMW driver thought 'i can't have that!' so he sped up and overtook the mini. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention and he drove into the back of a school bus. Ironically the bus contained the mini driver's 3 daughters, he was driving so fast because they had forgotten to bring their lunch and he was trying to catch up with the bus so he could give them their sandwiches. There were no survivors of the crash, except for the mini driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats pink and slippery? A pink slipper.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops