Two men walk into a bar. The third seeing the protruding bar goes home to find his entire family dead from anthrax.

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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Little Stephanie was up all night on Christmas eve excited for her new bike that Santa was going to bring her. After tossing and turning for what seemed like decades, the sunset finally arose and Stephanie ran down the steps to unwrap her new bike with the family. Immediately after she went down the staircase, she found her parents marinated in their own blood, with knife wounds all around their body.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Your mother is so obese, that when shot with a high velocity round from a handgun, the bullet is unlikely to penetrate the several layers of fat protecting her vital organs, like a fleshy kevlar vest. However, she is likely to die from infection, which is highly commom among gunshot wounds.

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What do you say to a black guy who is holding a gun to your head? Nothing. He is holding a gun to your head.

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Why cant Joe drive his tractor? Because he doesn't have any arms or legs. Why doesn't Joe have any arms or legs? BECAUSE JOE IS A POTATO.

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What did the prisoner say to the other prisoner? I am going to anally rape you.

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What's up? Not the Twin Towers.

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I'm Andrew Schmitt

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What did the phone say to the man? Ring ring.

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Q: what did batman say to robin before they got into the car? A: get in the car (:

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womens rights

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A white man, a black man, and a Hispanic man are in car, who is driving? The black man, it's his car.

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what is the world worst joke? this one

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What do you call a person with no arms, legs, and teeth singing in the middle of the street while spinning? I don't know.

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A dyslexic pervert asks to see a woman's bar. Then he is chased to the bra next door.

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How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

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Two men are in a bar. One of them turns to the other one and says, "I've slept with your mom." The other one replies "Go home dad you're drunk."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, these two statement are obvious unless you are color blind

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010010101210001010 You dirty girl

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How many finger does a normal person have? 8...and 2 thumbs!!

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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