Q: If a hen-and-a-half can lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take a peg-legged grasshopper to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? A: He'd give up.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to fix a lightbulb? Lets go ride bikes.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.

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What do you call the worst band ever? Nickelback.

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A man punches a 3rd grader in the stomach. Not long after he is arrested and no longer is allowed within 500 feet of a public school.

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Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

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Who died first the cow or the cow? The Cow

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What did the mute say to the deaf man?

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What did death say to life? Go die

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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knock knok Who's there The police, I regret to inform you your son was killed in a horrific traffic accident

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knock knock whos there knock knock whos there knock knock whos there poor billy didnt know that the knocking was just a tree branch and he stayed asking the same question for 21 years

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Q: What did little Timmy get from his mother this Christmas? A: The contents of her will.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a bus.

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Why did Piglet look in the toilet? He was probably fascinated by the flush.

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why do cats hate dogs the Holocaust

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two ducks run into each other........ then they walk away

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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What's 1 + 1? Fish. What's 2+2? Window. pie.

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a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, refrigerator.

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what do a carrot and an elephant have in common? theyre both orange except for the elephant.

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Why is an elephant gray Because it's GRAY!!! duh

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why couldnt justin beiber get into the club? because hes not legal

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Sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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