Why did the man stop going to his local doctor? Because they put highly poisen liquids in the shots

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What's similar about a mole and an eagle? They both are blind and dig through the ground. Except the eagle.

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A Black man walks into a gay bar. He has a great time because he is perfectly content with his sexuality.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to prove he could. Did it workout? NO

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Two people went to a planetarium to see a movie about the solar system. They came out smarter than when they had first walked in.

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What do you call a bitchy unreliable friend? You don't call that bitch at all.

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what do you call a man with no legs? An ambulance as he seem to be bleeding very heavily.

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Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

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A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

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What did the alien say to the parachute? We're connected

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Why doesn't Santa Claus change his socks on Christmas Eve? Because he isn't real.

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What was Dillon's old name? Dillon, I lied about the old name part.

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a man walks into a house. he gets shot in the leg and is brought to jail because he was a burglar and was trying to steal the family's tv.

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You You who? Yoohoo! is anybody home?!! Well obviously or i wouldn't have talked to you. Idiots these days!

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A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

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A blonde went to a doctor for a checkup. The blonde couldn't hear the doctor 'cuz she had headphones on so the doctor took them off. A couple of minutes later she died. The doctor was curious so he put the headphones on. It was saying, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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why did the chicken cross the road? no one knows because it got hit by a bus.

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Why did the black homosexual blind man want to go to the comedy club? He enjoys a good laugh

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What did the Jewish man say to the Shia faction Muslim man? Even though we have different views on god and religion I value your friendship more than my religous views.

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What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Where do you find a pile of dead lawyers? In my basement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops