You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

How many dead babies can fit in the trunk of my car? Seven.

Two men walked into a bar. I'm surprised the second man did not duck out of the way.

What crime does a tree commit in order to be sent to prison? Trees on.

What did Ben's Graandma get him for Christmas? Nothing, she died on Thanksgiving!

How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

What happened to your hamster? It died.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

A: Knock Knock B: ...

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? were lawyers

whats got two legs and cant walk a paraplegic

Why couldn't the little girl color in her coloring book? Her arms were amputated.

What is black and white and red all over? A black, red and white picture

Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

Oh you expected a funny joke? Oh well

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house... knock knock who's there the chicken

whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend "I know. You need to quit gnawing when you're giving me a blow job."

What did John name his dog? Doggy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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