Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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What's the deal with airplane food? I've never tried it. I'm just curious how it was.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are yellow Azeleas are pinkish purple

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What is green fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender goes why do you have a cane? The man goes "I'm blind."

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Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

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why are black people so good at basketball? because they understand the fundamentals, work hard at becoming better, and have fun playing the game/

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A woman wearing a very fancy, striped sweater walks into a bar and sits down. The bar tender asks her “what’ll it be”?. The girl replies “Just a beer for me”. As this happens a child in Africa dies from complications due to starvation.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

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justin bieber: ask me if im a boy are you a boy? no.

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Person 1: 'Ask me if I'm a tree' Person 2: 'Are you a tree?' Person 1: 'No.'

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shut up kobe!

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Okay, are you a tree? A: No, no I am not.

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Why was the Asian guy dumped by his hot girlfriend? Well you know what they say about Asian guys.... They are too dedicated to their schoolwork.

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

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Why did the sky turn gray? Yes because she thought it meant a quarterback.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Very, very hungry.

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Why did the man not come out of the closet? He wanted to stay in narnia.

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What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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