You know you're drunk when you've spend a significant amount of time consuming alcohol.

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What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Procedes with his long difficult hunt to find another companion who accepts him for what he is, without the fear of being eaten.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "It sure is hot in here." The other muffin says "Holy shit a talking muffin

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Q: A plane crashes on the boarder of Mexico and America, where do you bury the survivors. A: You don't because there were none, everyone fucking died!

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How do Mexicans have sex? They get in bed, and the man puts his dick in his partner's vagina.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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What's the point of going to college? There is none.

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Well many scientists have theorized that a giant meteor hit the earth causing the extinction of most living things. Also if your christian : Dinosaurs never existed, evolution is the devils work, science is not the answer to the world's problems. Darwin was a foolish man, and thats that.

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Pain Olympics.

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What is black and white and cant get through revolving doors? A zebra with a spear through its head.

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Why did the little boy have gum on his shoe? Because he stepped on it

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When life gives you lemons, sell them. Rejoice in your free money.

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What did the bird say when he was riding the turtle? Weeee...

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a black hispanic and asian man jump off a cliff they all die and their families morn their deaths

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What do you call a man who interru- SHUT UP!

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why did the chair brake? because a car smashed into it. where did it go? all the way to china. whats 3+4? why did the Chinese man get this wrong? Because a chair was in his head.

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What happened when my familys break on the car didn't work? They rolled down a hill and fell off a cliff and died. I loved them.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? blue paint on the rag

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why couldn't the man open the window? he had no hands due to his time serving the USA in vietnam

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What do you call a Serbian-Australian man with no arms, no legs, and two feet. Nick Vujicic

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what do you call a baby in a blender? A really funny event.

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Three blind men walk into a bar, and, no... wait, sorry just one; so one blind man walked into a bar, and... uh, okay, so it was actually more of a small post. This is pretty much just a plausible, yet unfortunate event. My bad.

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What do Sandusky and micheal Jackson have in common? They are both white.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops