Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do Tiger Woods and Charlie Sheen have in common? They are both celebrities.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Did you hear about the Englishman who ran all the way to Loch Ness? Oh, that's a shame, because I didn't either.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How much dub could a dubstep dub if a dubstep could step dub?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats better than holocaust...911 cardiac?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Cool I just got a free Minecraft gift code at http://freeminecraftgiftcode.net

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between a dead dog lying in the middle of the street and a dead black man lying in the middle of the street? The physical differences you would commonly expect to be between a human being and a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

When Chuck Norris is in a puddle, he doesnt get wet....he wears rainboots.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set a firework off on her face.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the goat say to the zebra? Nothing. Goats can't speak

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the Muslim suicide bomber commit suicide? He was nervous and didn't think he could hijack a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did i come to this site i was doing a school easy about the anti-apartheid movement

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Today is March 22.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

a man walks into a house. he gets shot in the leg and is brought to jail because he was a burglar and was trying to steal the family's tv.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's better then a bad anti joke? A Good anti joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between an eight year old girl and a Jew? Only one comes back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Your'e probably not going to laugh at this joke, it wasn't made to be funny

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops