Knock Knock Who's there? Immigration. You're headed back to mexico.

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How did the dinosaurs die???? How the Heck do I kno?

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How did the man get arested? For doing something leagle.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was high.

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Knock knock What?

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You read this in school as a crowd of kids stand behind you laughing at your screen

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Why couldn't little Suzie snap her fingers? Her stepfather cut off her fingers after becoming a drunk and leaving her family.

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what is black and white and read all over? A penguin in a blender

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what's black, white, and red all over? a penguin stuck in a blending machine

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Stones cannot fly. Humans cannot fly either. Therefore.. I wish I didn't get AIDS...

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What's greasier than a baby? A burger

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why did the clown stop laughing? because it got hit by an axe

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Q-how did the blind man cross the road? A-with a guide dog

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why is six afraid of seven? because six is a rapist

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Dear Diary, I am down to my last drops of water, I'm going to die soon. Wait, a man is offering me some water! Theres still hope, wait he said sike and ran off. I'm going to die alone.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Anal.

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What happens when you drop a baby? It falls.

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A guy asks someone's name. The other guy answer that his name is Steeve.

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What kind of nun would never drink milk? One who suffers from a severe lactose intolerance.

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Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

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Q: A plane crashes on the boarder of Mexico and America, where do you bury the survivors. A: You don't because there were none, everyone fucking died!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It has been this way for two days now. Whenever he looks over his shoulder and past his wing, he can see them there. Following him. The men with the red eyes. He doesn't know what they want and doesn't want to find out. He crosses that road as he has crossed so many others recently, squawking and shuffling along on his stubby legs, darting through traffic in a risky effort to shake them off of his tailfeathers. He gets to the other side and ascends the curb, walking beak-first into a pair of legs hidden beneath a grey robe. He looks up and sees a pair of eyes like burning coals staring down at him from within the darkness of a hood. He tries to run, but it is too late. He has been taken. His wings and fingers are forfeit.

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How do Mexicans have sex? They get in bed, and the man puts his dick in his partner's vagina.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops