Yo momma is so ugly, that your father can no longer stand her. They are getting divorced.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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What did the dyslexic say to the nun? When I write, I typically misplace letters in words.

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I Have a Black Friend

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Why did the black surgeon get fired? The hospital was low on funds due to the economic crisis, and had to let a few employees go.

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what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

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What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

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whats worse than forgetting your lunch at home? getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

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EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

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there once was a man from Nantucket. He was a fisherman.

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you know what's worse than being grounded? AIDS

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who's yellow , and looks like a bear? pudsey

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Scientific fact: If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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why was the woman afraid of her bestfriend he raped her

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will both fall over after being hit multiple times with an ax.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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