A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How much dub could a dubstep dub if a dubstep could step dub?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What made Qtip's so dangerous? Q-tip's music

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwimg out all the W&Ws

thumb_up thumb_down -24

When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Yo mama's so skinny, she should probably go in for eating disorders' counseling.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

24... wait i thought of something better than 24... let me hear it... 25!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man walks into a bar wearing large and baggy pants. The bartender asks him, "Why the large, baggy pants?" The man replies, "Because they're comfortable."

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was the boy depressed? A. because his whole family was slaughtered on the kitchen floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you know what to order at a Creole restaurant? Ask the waiter, they are usually familiar enough with the menu to make an educated recommendation.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why do I write Anit-jokes. Because I'm very bad at delevering good punchlines. They generally fall flat.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Extra extra read all about it dunkin donuts has now been named dunkin pigs..a cops favorite hang out.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you save a black person from drowning? Take your foot off his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Last night, I went fishing, caught a fish, brought it home, grilled it, ate it, and went to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man walks into a bar, I forget the rest of this joke and your mother's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the boy run down the road? Because he was being chased by a tsunami

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did George Washingtn say to is men before crossing the Delaware? Men, get in the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A black man a mexican and a caucasian were walking together. The black man and the mexican walked into a bar. The caucasian ducked. Not because his race makes him smarter in anyway, but because his friends shouted out a warning to him. All three then proceeded to the nearest pub.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A duck walks into a bar "Can I have some brandy, please" says the duck The bartender then proceeds to make millions because he was the first to discover a talking duck

thumb_up thumb_down -26

My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops