How do you kill a blonde? Cut off the bloodflow to their vital organs.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

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What did everyone call the ginger kid? Jimmy as that was his name...

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Why was the black man in the hotel so upset? I shit on his chest.

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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What did Hitler say to Obama Nothing because Hitler is dead.

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Q:A man walked into a bar. He looked at everyone and suddenly started crying. Why? A: Because everyone was drunk, and therefore came to the point where no one could remember him or anyone else.

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How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

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Q:How meny jews can u fit in a mini? A:5 in the seats and 1 million in the ashtray.

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whats black and white? Micheal Jackson. - Avery Vartanian

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what is white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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How did the man die? A gorilla raped him

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Whats worse than peeing blood? Dying.

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You come across a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. Why are you telling a joke? Go make sex.

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What did the guy say when he came out of the closet? Where's my green shirt?

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words can leave deep psychological wounds that may never heal.

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Why are black people afraid of white people? They aren't

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a red boat and a blue boat collided all the survivors still have nightmares to this day

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what did blonde say to the square? ur a square which is comprised of four equal sides and always have four lines of symmetry.

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What do you call a blonde with a broken arm? A cripple.

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What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

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Why can't George Washington sit up straight? He's dead.

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Well... At that time everyone expected that the only people that knew hypnosis where either "born with the gift from the stars" or was some old beard man that spent "hundreds of years in the mountains".or a wizard or a shamanic priest, or well some guy in a particular stupid suit of sorts, it increased its potency simple as that, as having people stare at me and laugh because "You are not some beardy guru master" is a pretty bad start for the effective use of mass hypnosis. Mono-ideoism actually just means really concentrated focus on a single object or state of mind, the thing about the name (aside from sounding kinda mono-idiotic) is that strong focus alone does NOT lead to a state of relaxation which is one of the prime requirements to achieve a state of trance, I mean try focusing on something really hard and your body produces a huge amount of beta waves, aka stress. All of that is bullshit, but my horrible childhood did leave me with the "gift" to space out pretty quickly, so I learned it pretty fast without really knowing what it was at first.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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