What's the difference between a black man and a couch? One is a human being and one is a piece of furniture.

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What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

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so there are 2 muffins in an oven,1 says to the other "holy s**t its hot in here!" and the other says,"omg!its a talking muffin!"

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What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

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whats the best thing ever to happen to chuk norris ? he was born !!!!

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how makes licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? depends on how determined you are to find out

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Why did the little boy fall of his bicycle? It was the first time he road without his training wheels.

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Well... At that time everyone expected that the only people that knew hypnosis where either "born with the gift from the stars" or was some old beard man that spent "hundreds of years in the mountains".or a wizard or a shamanic priest, or well some guy in a particular stupid suit of sorts, it increased its potency simple as that, as having people stare at me and laugh because "You are not some beardy guru master" is a pretty bad start for the effective use of mass hypnosis. Mono-ideoism actually just means really concentrated focus on a single object or state of mind, the thing about the name (aside from sounding kinda mono-idiotic) is that strong focus alone does NOT lead to a state of relaxation which is one of the prime requirements to achieve a state of trance, I mean try focusing on something really hard and your body produces a huge amount of beta waves, aka stress. All of that is bullshit, but my horrible childhood did leave me with the "gift" to space out pretty quickly, so I learned it pretty fast without really knowing what it was at first.

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Thomas Hobbes had a happy life. Actually he didnt, he was born prematurely causing his mother to die. Then his dad left him at an early age to the care of an abusive older brother because he was an alcohollic. He did inspire many political beliefs though

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Your adopted.....

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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what happened to the guy that got shot in the head? Nothing, it was a water gun.

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Why don't men want to marry virgins? They are wary of women who are inexperienced and who they may be sexually incompatible with.

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Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

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knock knock whos there? your neighbor, dude im sorry but i swear i didnt see your kid on my drive way.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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Knock knock.Who's there?Dead Baby.

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The Big Band Theory

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Why did the chicken smoke weed? Because he was black

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A blind man walks into a wall.

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Yo mama so fat she went on a diet and steadily lost wait

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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