- Anti Joke

A couple was arguing about how the man was cheating and he was in "The Doghouse". There clever son pointed out that they didn't own a dog.

why did josh pick up the quarter because he's a jew

Why did the man eat the cheese? because the man was a mouse

Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

Why are you looking here? The joke's in your hand.

three blondes are walking along the beach on a desert island, they each have plans to escape. The first swims off the island but is swept in with the current back to land The second blonde burns an SOS into the sand using a rock and twigs-the wind blows it out The third, realising how immature her freinds were, reaches into her pocket and pulls out her mobile phone and begins dialling the coast guard.

roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

Turnabout: American study of the Japanese Stereotype man: Murican: Excuse me Mr Japanese. Jap: The answer is within the heart of battle.. Murican: Yes but I just want to ask you some few questions. Jap: You are disturbing my feng shui I must power of the mystical fireball of surge fist energy get... uppercuts waterfall BECAUSE REASONS! Murican: What? But this is a serious study! Jap: Sowwy I do nothe speeky the shamefull language of the engrish! Murican: But you just said... Sigh... Conclusion: Carpet bombing of Japan funding increased. "slap a Jap" commercial project from world war two reinstated for the safety of the American people. Experiment two: The study of a American man raised in Japan. Murican: Hello I wonder if... American raised in japan: GADOUKEN GADOUKEN GADOUKEN! ORA ORA! Murican: Dead/KO. American/Japan: FRAWRESS VICTOLY! Result: World war 3 GET!

So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

Q: What did ine sweaty arab man say to the other sweaty arab man? A: "I'm sweaty"

What do you call a generally un likeable person who has a habit of drinking in a bar? A Bastard.

Q. Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch? A. yeah, that's a really big step, quitting smoking is tough

I always like to pack a second pair of pants, because if there's one thing my mother ever said to me it was 'please, I'm begging you - don't put me in a home.'

A: I've got a new knock knock jokes! Wanna hear it? B: Yeah. A: Oh you first. B: Knock knock! A: Who's there?

A blonde girl gets in a bad car accident . A man stops on the side of the road to help her . She is panicking The man gets out a piece of chalk and draw a small circle. He says "Do not step out of this circle" The man smashes her car with a baseball bat She giggles He rolls her car down the hill, She laughs Her car is on fire , She is cracking up He yells " WHAT IS SO FUNNY " She says , "I stepped out of the circle three times when you weren't looking"

What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

why was the blonde fired from the factory? she ate the maneger's fingers.

What's cute and smokes? A cute person with a nicotine addiction.

What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

How do you make a baby fly? Hit it's mother in the stomach.

Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

What do Jesus, The Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus all have in common? Their middle names are all Larry.

What's black, white, and red all over? Something that's black, white, and red all over.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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