Why is NO ONE on Facebook when I AM?! Because you have no friends... on Facebook... ... Wow.

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why was the boy sad He was just abused by his parents and had aids

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What happens if you play CS:GO? Well you loose alot of fucking money.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A man walks into a bar, he begins drinking and returns home visably drunk. His family disowns him as he is a recovering alchoholic who was three months sober.

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I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

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What's the best type of silence in a family? None, all families should be open in communication.

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What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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Why was the man's foot hot? Because it was stuck in a toaster.

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How to apply total justice 1: Kill all humans! Moral: "Why do I have to die while he gets to live? Nobody gets to live? Sounds fair and just to me!"

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What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Why did the two children go sledding? Because they liked to sled.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Several occupants leave as they realise the danger of the large animal.

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What happened after jimmy cheated on a test. Jimmy went home.

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Why did the kid fall off the bike? Because he was paraplegic.

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Why couldn't the duck fly? It died.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" Of course not.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Whats worse than a bullet in the head? i have no idea, i have never been shot in the head so i'm not sure what to compare it to.

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Wanna hear a joke......... your moms face !!

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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I LOVE MASTURBAITING ALL DAY!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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