What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

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What's worse than finding a hair in your soup? Slavery.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: I'm a horse. We have long faces.

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A man walked into a lampost. He hurt himself.

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What did the three blind mice say to the priest? I'm blind :(

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Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

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What did Little Jojo get for Hanukah? Nothing he is Muslim.

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Do you know whats sad? Global Warming Do you know why the polar bears are dying? Aids

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Why couldn't the prostitute give a proper blow job..... She had no lips

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Why did the mexican order a bean burrito? Because thats his favorite

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A potato walked into a bar and ordered a large bowl of french fries

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares what a Chicken does?

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My Nan, that is all.

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roses are red. vilets are blue. I'm getting hungry. make me some food...bitch.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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God wrote this joke.................................

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how many dead guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6

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what has two eyes and a face? the 5 year old who got raped on his way back home last night.

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. And now he's dead. No more shoe ingestion

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What's better than having sex with your mother? Nothing. I'm in love with her, son.

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i am not a pothead!!! the only time ive evr been high was springbreak last year!!! mm hmm... wat were u doin over spring break to get high? i had jaw surgery and the doctor had me on tons of painkillers

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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a man walked in to a bar and said 'outch'

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What's long and black? A 12 inch black dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops