What do stupid fat ugly women always say to me? “I think you have a problem with women.”

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Johnny Depp is Alexander Graham the whole time.

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Hey whats sad about 4 black people going over a cliff in a cadillac. Nothing

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what happens when you piss on a dead monkey nothing you just lose the urge to pee O.o

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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yo mumma is so smelly i can distictly smell her more than her perfume

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An American, an Indian and an African walked into a bar. They had a memorable time together.

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How can you tell the difference between a black man and a white man? Quite easily actually.

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two muffins were in an oven, one muffin said to the other, " ohmygod! its so hot in here!" the other muffin said,"AHHHHHH!!!! its a talking muffin!!"

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What did the camel say to the polar bear at the bar? "Uuuhhrrhrhhh"

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How did the blonde girl fall down? She didnt see where she was goin

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why is six afraid of seven? because six is a rapist

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What did the world's greatest bowler say when he got a gutterball? "Spare me the irony!" Get it? It's because he's made of metal.

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What do you call an asian with a small penis? Whatever his name happens to be.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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a man walks into a bar and quickly notices a young lady having a drink. He sits beside her and asks 'why the long face?' 'My mother was raped by a horse.'

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1: Hey whats better than bacon? 2: What? 1: Nothing. Nothing is better than bacon.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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What did Johnny do this wednesday? He went to school to be academically taught to get a high GPA of all the other children so he could go and pursuit his dream so he won't be left at home with a drunk wife and 6 kids with $190,000 in debt from the IRS

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LET

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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Leslie's husband admitted to being gay, which came to the surprise of no one, seeing as Leslie is a man.

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Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Of course you don't. they're sick and disgusting and enjoyment of one merits only the deepest of society's hatred and scorn.

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how long did it take the blonde to solve the rubiks cube when she knew the algorithm? Approximately 6.73 minutes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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