What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

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What do you call cat that is on fire? Nigel.

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Ask me if I'm a dinosaur. Are you dinosaur? No.

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A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He felt like crossing roads that day.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

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Why doesn't the South Pole war veteran remember the name of his child? He is a penguin and could care less about naming his children. Why doesn't the penguin on the North Pole remember the name of his child? There are no penguins on the North Pole.

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the boy fall off of his bike? He was hit by falling koalas.

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What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

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hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

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Why was the Chinese Man mistaken for the other Chinese Man? They were twins.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game"

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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Wanna here a joke? Feminism.

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What is the biggest lie in the world How the **** should I know

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What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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