Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

How do u kill a mocking bird? Stab it

Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

Q: How do you fit 30 Jews in one car? A: Two in the front, two in the back, and the rest in the ash tray.

What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

why didnt the little boy say goodbye to his mom because he got hit by a bus

Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

what did hulk say when he was mad? im mad

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was sexually abusive.

What's worse then 1 bee sting? -2 Bee stings. What's worse then 2 bee stings? -The Holocaust. What's worse then the Holocaust? -3 Bee stings.

I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

I went up to my friend and she said to me, "Foop." I calmly went to the nearest teacher and told her that Susie is having a mental breakdown again

What do you call a black man who has been killed? A dead person.

whats the difference between G. Bush and a rock? Bush (bull)shits and rock doesn't

Rachel: Wanna hear a conundrum? Robby: Sure! Racheal: Vampire Value card.

Why is it that all cats dislike flying saucers? The strange noises and lights probably frighten them, as they don't understand the concepts of extra-terrestrial intelligence and space travel.

Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

Why did the mentally disabled child begin to cry? Because he shit himself

Why did the clown drink all the sweet wine? Because he was an alcoholic.

What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? the pigment in their skin.

where did juan go after getting hit by a bus? the ground

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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