Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

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Why did the black girls wear fancy clothes to the mall? Public nudity is considered a crime in many parts of the world. It would be advisable to wear clothes in public areas, so as to avoid being arrested.

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This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

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What did the black kid get for christmas? A wii with duel contollers and a 2 year insurance for it incase it gets robbed or damaged

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Pull my finger ouch..

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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[Insert hurtful, yet spontaneous comment here.]

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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Dakota Fanning

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How did the chicken know where he was going? He had a map.

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What did Mars say to warn Prehistoric Earth before an asteroid hit it? Nothing, sound can't travel through space, it's a vacuum. The dinosaurs will be missed.

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Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

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What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

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What's pink and when you press a button it turns red? A baby in a blender. What's pink and when you hit it against the wall sounds metallic? A baby with two forks stuck in its eyes.

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A murderer walks into a bar with a knife. He then stabs seven people and is then arrested shortly after.

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What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? As they can't find any, they are just squirrels, they can not asist little timmy choking on the lightbulb rolling around on the floor.

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My period is red, Your sauce is white, now pull down your pants and let me do my workout.

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A man walks into a bar. He has suffered from a concussion and is now in the emergency room.

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i like my babies how i like my potatoes..... skinned

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Like a bit of a cozy fight or something.

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What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops