An Italian man with a very thick accent decides to travel to America. On arriving, he decides to take a taxi and tour the nearby city. The man, feeling hungry after a while, chooses to stop at a bakery. Upon entering the bakery, the man walks up to the display of bread, and points at the loaves of bread he wanted, calling to the baker "I want 2 piece." The baker, not understanding the man's accent asks the man to repeat what he said. So the man repeats, "I want 2 piece, right here, right now." "Sure thing," the baker says, and gives the man the loaves of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did dick Cheney say to his friend that he accidentally shot in the face while quail hunting? Sorry for shooting you in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the kid eat so much ice cream? Because he wanted to eat ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

mark is religion

thumb_up thumb_down -20

yo momma so stupid she should probably be taken to a specialist as she may have a learning disability.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

You might be a redneck. Sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the gay man see when he looked out the window? A UPS truck that was shipping a monkey

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? The same amount as white people, stop being racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the black man do when his Polish friend died of cancer? He fertilized his front lawn as it was beginning to burn due to overexposure of the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'? Porn....

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats 9 + 10? 19.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what did the guy say before he went to kill the other guy? Im killing you

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly my dick down your throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the Egg turn Purple Because it didnt turn blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it was dead, thus incapable of independent movement.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A hispanic man eats a taco and enjoys. He is kicked in the nuts 2 months later.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what do you get when you cross an elephant with a lake? swimming trunks.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops