why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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Kid: My dad's brother has gone at it with a lot of women. Friend(sarcastically): Geez that's great! When was he born? Kid: '69

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Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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Q:how do you make a rockstar cry? A: hit him with a breifcase

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Do you know what's not right? Left.

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Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

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i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

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Why are people so quiet at golf game? Because its such a boring sport.

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How do you sabotage someone's car? Drop a fridge on it

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Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Have you seen the Hobbit? Yes they're taking him to Isengard

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Poop swing

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What did the farmer say when he lost his coat? Where's my coat.

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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My dad said that if I post anymore jokes on this website, the will hit my head against the keyboaaskdnaji;nsd;asdnasd;

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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why was 6 afraid of 7 because 6 just found out 7 had genital herpes.

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Knock Know! Come in!

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Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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