DON'T LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH BECAUSE HORSES HAVE BAD BREATH

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the big pickle say to the little pickle? "I'm black."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

hey i just met you.. and this is crazy. but here my facebook so add me maybe!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

69

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Person 1:"Knock Knock" Person 2: Whos there.... Wait why did you literally say the words "Knock Knock" Person 1: I have no idea

thumb_up thumb_down -9

And so i say to the preist ........... pass the bananas

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Where's the cheese? Who ate the cheese? A: How do you know it's been eaten because it's gone? Are you making the assumption that food that has disappeared was eaten because that is usually how food disappears? I am filing a lawsuit against you for your malevolent foodism.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happened when the child missed his school bus home? He had to take the long 6 mile walk back home and did not return until dinner time.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Three Black men smash windows to enter a house. They're firemen and are rescuing a young child...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What time do you go to the dentist? Depends on the appointment.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog Woof.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two people walk into Israel. The first is shot on the spot. The second screams "I only have two pennies in my pocket!" Immediately he is raped by five Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Girl: How do I know if I'm Jewish? Guy: Are you Jewish? Girl: No. Guy: There ya go.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the boy hit by a bus? Because the driver is a homicidal sociopath.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I grunt when I poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Tourette's, PENIS.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day Your body rejected it and you went into cardiac arrest, we both died

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops