-Knock knock. ~Use the doorbell. -Ding dong. ~The witch is dead!

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A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

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Knock knock Who's there? Be Be who? Be yourself

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What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? Trying to sell a used truck with dead baby stains all over it.

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what happened to the atheist when he died? he went to HELL

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What did the Polack do in the rainstorm? He got wet.

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What color is the white cup? It's blue because it has two handles.

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What did the little boy get on christmas morning? Cancer.

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A brown park bench was bought. After multiple years the color had faded, and the bench was no longer the same shade of brown.

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Why did the Teacher cry? Because he was sad.

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"Have you guys ever seen Derrek Ashmores sisters? They are DTF if you know what I mean" - Jesse Ziegenbein

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Q:What the difference between a piano and a guitar A: Nothing, there both instruments and i lied about the difference

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who cares wats behind the green class door people cant be in it

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Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

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Cool Brian

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, And one of them has a penis.

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What's funnier than 1 dead baby? Anything

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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What do you get when you mix a burrito and an earthworm? Diaherea

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What did Heinrich Himmler say to the chicken? I'll take that liver thanks.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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Girl: I wrote a poem. Boy: Let's hear it! Girl: I like you, thats a start. You don't, so we are growing apart. In my heart there's a little tear, its funny to see how much you care. I hate the way you played my heart. You never finish what you start. Boy: Cool. Whose is for? Girl: You... Boy: Wow ummm, I have to go to......................yeah bye.

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What did the KKK member say to the african american man. Nothing, he just killed him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops