How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? None, you don't have to be jewish to change a light bulb

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i'll leave 'em dead in the living room. get it leave 'em dead in the living room

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a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being unaware of his surroundings, the chicken was startled by an oncoming motor vehicle. Due to the animals vapid logic an reasoning, based on impulse it quickly ran to the other side of the street to avoid its imminent death by the speeding automobile. Unknowingly, the chicken had reached the other side of the road,

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Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

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Sticks and stones may break my bones.

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Want to hear a joke? Me too.

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Q:what is a wheelchairs biggest fear A: steps

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Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

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Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

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Josh Moran sticks polish sausage up his ear and moves it back and forth while squeezing his balls until they rupture.

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

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Q. why did the skeleton crosse the rood. A. he didin`t becas he had no guts

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a black man and a white man walk into a job interview. neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

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Whats black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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how many high school boys does it take to change a light bulb?? idk the light bulb in my bathroom is out and i need to know how many boys to call over to fix it.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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Whats the same about Jerry Seinfeld and Adam Sandler They are both comedians

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops