Q: why did suzie fall out of the swing? A: because she was a pinecone

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When life gives you carrots, don't make carrot juice, because it's gross.

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A horse walks into a bar and sits down on a stool. He orders a beer. He drinks his beer and leaves. Life continues on as it was.

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What makes you hate life and feel good at the same time? A rapist.

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How do u make a hockey player cry You Kill his entire family

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What Do You Call The White House When Obama Is President? What? The White House.

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A man goes into the doctors office for his yearly checkup. The man waits patiently for several minutes until the doctor is ready to see him. After about ten minutes pass, the doctor is ready to see him. The man enters the doctors office. He passes all of the necessary tests. The doctor and him talk for a while. After a few minutes, the doctor says, "Okay, thanks for coming. See you next year." The man thanks the doctor and leaves.

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A bear walks into a bar. Animal control was contacted and the bar was evacuated.

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Why didn't the man buy the sportscar? He couldn't drive stick

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Why Couldn't the pirates see the movie? Because the mall strictly enforced local curfew laws ; and one of the pirates was unable to provide a valid form of identification.

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Why did Bob wear a jumper and trousers even though it was a very hot day? Because he is an idiot.

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Uh... What was emulating again?

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How many black guys can fit in a minivan? Eight.

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Why didn't the cat eat its supper? It was dead.

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Your grandma's cookies.

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Why did the baby cry? His dad was holding him upside down over a fire.

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what did the 14 year old boy get for christmas? nothing because he his sitting in prison for killin his parents and is serving a life sentence.

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What do you call a Mexican playing basketball? A man of hispanic heritage that enjoys the sport of basketball.

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Marrage s like a card game. You start off with 2 hearts and 1 diamond. You end up wishing for a club and a spade!

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Sunflowers are red. My garden is on fire.

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Did you hear about the cannibal who ate the Olympic record sprinter? He's in prison for first-degree murder & crimes against humanity.

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What did the cashier say to the blonde? That will be $5.39, would you like a receipt?

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Roses are red Violets are blue if you think this is funny then your a jew!

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea lives for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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