Yo mamma is so fat She has to wear big pants and is easily fatigued.

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A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

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Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

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knock knok whos there? Jacob Jacob who? U know, your friend!

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what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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Peg leg Pete, yay, I know stuff too, I watched that one all the time when I was a girl.

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What's the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot? There's been sittings of bigfoot

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's been brutally cut open.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

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Why did the women cross the road? I dont know.. why? no clue.. why was she out of the kitchen

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What's harder than winning an argument with a woman. Lonsdaleite which has recently been declared the hardest substance known to man, and can withstand 58% more stress than the hardest diamond crystal.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She was a donut.

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Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

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Where was little Sara when the bomb went off? Everywhere. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" Sara's hands

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A have a black guy in my family tree. He married my cousin a few years back

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How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

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Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I am a dog.

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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